(It’s around 9:30 the next morning.)
My first thought was that there are going to be a lot of suicides.
We are also going to turn on each other. “We” being those who are against him. Which of us let the rest of us down?
Walking home from the hotel, I looked at others with suspicion. Who were the guilty ones who voted for him?
I want someone to invade us and free us from this. We’re Nazi Germany. Or rather, we’re Russia currently and the oligarchs have won. There is no saving us.
Why couldn’t it be a meteor, or aliens, or I don’t know something that was external and not us destroying ourselves.
This won’t affect me in any way and that’s what’s so horrible. The damage that will be done is unimaginable yet a large number of people will be able to ignore it. Not “ignore it”, but just have no idea what’s happening. Because it won’t affect them in any way.
I feel insubstantial.
I woke up and although I knew the night before I finally saw the decisive numbers and broke down. Spasms.
It’s a bit trite but everything is meaningless right now. I don’t want to interact. I messaged my Italian tutor and told her I was cancelling my subscription and not attending the rest of my lessons. It sounds erratic but I can’t face anyone. (She doesn’t follow much news but knew what was at stake. Her kind response: “Ma cosa dici… ma non è ancora finito il conteggio dei voti, c’è ancora speranza… o no?”.
Trying to get myself to log into work, ignoring messages.
I’m so sorry for the people that will be hurt. Again, I will not be affected because I’m comfortable enough to not have societal disruptions invade, and not important to become a target.
And I also look at people, as we were walking home, and wondering how they were feeling. How were they going to work or the store or getting breakfast and not showing it. I guess maybe we weren’t either.
And I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet.
