You’ll feel shame but won’t address it or speak about it or sometimes even know that it’s affecting you but it will be there. The most conscious thoughts will be justifications you’ll know are weak. You were part of a history that will be repressed. A country that really won’t deal with what it did to itself and how distorted it became. It’ll take months or years or decades (or sooner) to address it, and when you finally get there you’ll feel queasy from the shame. You know it now. This is not what you wanted, at least, not all of it. You have hatreds and prejudices and but a morality that nags. “Something is not right.” And the shame will creep in. And you’ll justify your initial intentions while still knowing there was wrong that was there and not just wrong but one of those very basic wrongs. The shame may temper what you teach your children and save the next generation. Maybe. If the damage isn’t already done.
This is what I hope for you.
Updated 2 May 2019
A Former Alt-Right Member’s Message: Get Out While You Still Can
A lady completely bat-shit connected to the news outlets and pundits and participants in some of the most extreme racism and anti-semitism of the recent political climate. Katie McHugh acts regretful, makes excuses, blames “the climate.” Relationships with and those associated with: Daily Caller. WorldNetDaily. Breitbart. Her essays and tweets contain extremely extremely vile statements about other POC and Jews and one of her current excuses is that there were much worse racists.